


Phantoms

by progfox



Category: Un-Go
Genre: Death Wish, Gen, i guess?, tags are weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-10
Updated: 2012-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/progfox/pseuds/progfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's just no escaping the past anymore, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phantoms

**Author's Note:**

> whoA WHAT AM I TRYING TO DO  
> episode 0 was fabulous and it's really inspired me
> 
> look forward to another fic coming soonish?? good god i love shinjurou

Sometimes Shinjurou feels it. The ghost of the spike skewering his neck. Mostly it's nothing, but there are times when he stops, grasps his neck and wonders why the hell there's nothing there. He worries, at times, that he's still there. That this is all an illusion. He'd be dead at this point, were it all in his head, but he'll never really know, will he?

There are many times when he wishes he had died. At the very least, he wishes it'd scarred him. He can't understand, really, that he could suffer such an injury and come out physically unscathed.

Nothing ever leaves a scar anymore.

It's not just the ghost of the skewer, though. It's everyone who died there. To be exact, everyone he killed. It makes him sick thinking of it. He'd been flickering in and out of consciousness and barely remembers but he knows it was him. Inga. His body. That, somehow, makes him a killer. Partnered with a killer. In any other context they'd be something to fear, Shinjurou realizes, a reason to constantly look behind.

Never turn your back on Inga, Shinjurou always says. Thinks. Not too sure which, really. But either way it's true. He's dangerous, she's dangerous.

When he really stops to think about it he realizes he hates that Inga's taken her body. Yuuko's body. When this really occurs to him it nearly breaks him. He shudders. He simply wants to forget.

He can't remember his real name. He barely remembers his past, his childhood. Everything up until he met Yuuko and the band is a blur, and then suddenly he remembers it all with an almost painfully sharp clarity. He's forgotten what he believed he wanted, so why can't he forget this?

Shinjurou feels it again, the stabbing in his neck. He gasps, nearly chokes, falls to his knees. His eyes widen as he tries to draw breath. It's an illusion, a flashback, something unreal but so truly painful it can't be a fantasy. It can't. He wishes, for a moment, that there were some sign of pain.

He wishes for an end.

"Shinjurou!" A split second after Inga calls his name Shinjurou feels the child's weight crash into him, toppling him over. "Shinjurou! You okay?"

Shinjurou forces a sort of smile and pushes himself upright. "I'm alright."

"Ya sure?" Inga raises his eyebrows. "Sounded like you were choking on something."

"I'm fine." Shinjurou widens his fake smile just a bit. "Really."

This seems to be enough for Inga; he grins and kisses the top of Shinjurou's head. Satisfied, Inga jumps off his back and rushes off again, presumably to do something silly the detective doesn't care about.

Yuuko, Yuuko. Thank God Inga rarely takes her form. He hates to see her, think she's alive again. It's so _wrong_ , he thinks, because Inga is almost cruel in interrogation while Yuuko is - was - a calmer, kinder face. She was nothing like Inga.

Then again, he wouldn't know for sure, would he? He hadn't known Yuuko long. He didn't know her soul; she'd refused to bare it. And can he blame her? Still, it's cause for concern.

He'll never know her soul. Hell, he'll never know his own. This whole situation - everything, really - makes him want to scream. He decides to lay back on the rough carpet; no reason to bother getting up at the moment, not in this state of mind.

"Ah, why?" Shinjurou sings softly, his voice quivering slightly. "Why do I grow up?"

Why, why, why. The question of his life, almost. Why does he do anything? Why does he exist?

Why does he grow older?

Oh, Yuuko Yuuko, only sees her in his dreams anymore. Sometimes he just thinks, if only he could really die. Would they meet again? No matter, he supposes. He really shouldn't be so hung up on a woman he barely knows.

Still, he feels _something_ for her, and he just desperately wants to feel anything other than numb and melancholy, even if it means longing for a ghost.

He'd give anything to find his way out of Hell.


End file.
